When was your first gay experience

Why some guys have something with men even though they're not gay

It's not a question of sexual orientation: for many teenagers, jerking off with other guys is part of puberty. Sometimes the sexual curiosity goes a little further and two men end up in bed. It doesn't matter whether they are gay, bi or straight because of this.

On Sunday Felix sat confused in his room at home. He spent the day before with his best friend Tobias. They were in town together buying new clothes. Then they went to play pool and had a fun evening together. They went to Tobias, cooked together and made a DVD evening. Now Felix was happy to be home because he hadn't gotten much sleep. They watched DVDs late into the night and later one thing led to another. What started with "buddy wanking" ended in sex. The strange thing about it: Tobias is straight!

Youngsters explore their sexuality

The story of Felix and Tobias is not an isolated incident. Many gay adolescents have similar experiences and are unsettled. Many questions go through your head. Why is my straight buddy having sex with me? Why does he enjoy it even though he is only drawn to women? Isn't he as straight as he claims?

This phenomenon is particularly common during puberty. At the onset of sexual maturity, many boys gain sexual experience with the same sex in order to discover their own body and sexuality. After puberty, however, most adolescents stop experimenting. Assuming that human sexuality does not develop over time but is created from the start, one might wonder why the fun of sex with the same sex disappears for most guys. Is this actually the case?

Are Straight Guys Losing The Fun?

In the case of mere sexual acts, it probably doesn't matter whether a man is sexually satisfied by a man or a woman. Anal and oral intercourse should feel the same, regardless of who is giving you oral satisfaction or who is being anally penetrated. So the cause of the change of heart when it comes to enjoying same-sex sex must be different.

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If the straight boyfriend gets to know women and has a relationship with them, his need for sex is satisfied. Why should one also satisfy one's lust with the same sex when one can also have the opposite sex, for which one not only feels lust but also feelings? But what about straight men who are solo and not able to sleep with a woman? You still don't have sex with men. The reason for refusing same-sex intercourse appears to have a psychosocial cause.


Even with tolerant men, there is still a difference between the acceptance of homosexuality by others and one's own experience of sexual practices that are "gay". The thought still lingers deep in the mind that such actions are wrong and shouldn't be done. But thinking in terms of categories also plays a major role. If you perceive yourself as heterosexual, you automatically try to live up to this role.

This includes that same-sex sex is out of the question and is wrong. Even the possibility that this could be pleasurable, even if it is not connected with feelings of love, is not taken into account. The situation is similar with anal stimulation, for example. Since these, and especially anal intercourse, are associated with gays, many are unwilling to try this form of stimulation on themselves.

Most people are bisexual

As early as 1948, the "Kinsey Report" showed that around 90% of men show bisexual behavior. Depending on how often one has homoerotic fantasies or same-sex sex, according to the "Kinsey Report" one is more or less bisexual. As a result, there are hardly any purely straight or homosexual people. The cravings for same-sex sex seem to exist in more men than are willing to admit. For some, these cravings may just not be strong enough.

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