Is it normal for toddlers to whine?

Whine and howl

Why do kindergarten children get cranky?

A child of kindergarten age is dependent on adults for almost everything: food, drink, love, toys, means of transport and so much more can not simply look for itself.

So it has to get adult attention to get the things it needs. A child who is extremely cranky, nagging or whining, feels helpless and shows this so that someone will finally notice!

What can I do about whining?

Explain exactly what you mean!
Make sure your child knows exactly what you are talking about when you say, "Stop the whining!"

Parents often wrongly assume that children know how terrible the messing up sounds in their ears - but that is not necessarily the case! So, if you hear your child whining, give it a name and ask your child to tell you what they want in their normal voice.

If your child is finding it difficult to hear the difference, then lead the way. You can use a doll for this purpose: Let the doll play the whimsy child who drives you to despair (or you act out the situation together with your child).

Explain to your child that whining sounds very annoying and makes people unwilling to listen. Practice “good” and “bad” voices together. If you show your child what their whining sounds like, they'll be laughing out loud!

Always show the same reactions!
Whether or not your child's desire is appropriate, they need to know that whining will not get them what they want.

For example, say, “I can't understand you when you talk like that. Use your normal voice and I'll be happy to listen to you. ”Keep your tone neutral: if you get upset, it will make the whining more likely because your child will feel even more misunderstood. Some kindergarten children respond better to visual stimuli: it may help to cover your ears in mock pain to show that your child is using a whining voice (if they stop and speak normally, take their hands off their ears and smile Your child). Most importantly, whatever you do, do it every time the whining starts and be consistent.

Just as important as having the same response to the whining is a positive response when your child changes their tone of voice. As soon as your little one is using their normal voice again, react immediately - they will learn that “good pitch” works. Even so, you don't have to give your child everything he or she asks just because they didn't squeal in the process. Most importantly, show empathy and understanding, “I'm sorry you can't play anymore. But now it's time to go to sleep. Thank you for asking so beautifully! "

Acknowledge that your child needs your attention!
Kindergarteners sometimes start whining when they're tired and don't get their parents' attention. This is why you will probably hear the whining particularly often when, for example, you are talking to a friend, writing her shopping list or trying out a complicated recipe. In short, if you focus on something else while your kindergarten kid needs your help, the whining begins.

Whenever your child asks you in a good way, you should act as quickly as possible. Of course, you don't want your little one to “need” you every time you're in a conversation - so make it clear to your child, “If it's really important, you can politely interrupt me without complaining - then I'll hear to yours. But if you can wait until I've finished talking, please wait. "

Whenever you are doing something else, take a moment to take note of your child's needs. Tell him about when you have time to do this ("I know you need help with the puzzle, but you have to wait two minutes and I can help you.")

Make sure the times are realistic and appropriate for your child's age: You can expect children to wait as many minutes as they are years old - a three-year-old can wait patiently for three minutes, a four-year-old four minutes, etc. Don't say “later” - it's too imprecise. And praise your child when they have waited patiently!

Show your child better solutions!
Some children whine because they have no other way of expressing your feelings. Help your child find out and put into words what they are feeling. For example, you might say, “I see that you are angry. Is it because I can't go to the park with you this afternoon? " And the conversation can begin.

Make sure that your child doesn't always have to complain beforehand because they lack your attention - in the form of the bedtime story, a game together, a conversation. And say thank you when your little one asked in a friendly way. If they learn that other ways of expressing their needs get better results - and that nagging isn't one of them - then the nagging will soon take care of itself.

Avoid triggers!
Children get cranky when they are hungry or tired. Take a hungry child to the supermarket and guess what if you explain to them that cookies are off-limits before dinner! Or put the new mini trampoline in the kitchen and how do you think your child will react if they are not allowed to hop on it until the cake is ready in the oven ?!

So, make sure your child is full before you go shopping. Life will likely get easier for both of you if you don't want to go shopping - or even to the zoo - at the end of a long day.

Don't give in!
Even if you aren't - at least make it seem like you are staying calm as the whining gets worse and higher. You probably don't want your child to learn: violent tantrums in public get me my will!

No matter where you are, who you are with or whatever tone your kindergarten child chooses, stay calm! Don't get angry and don't give in (“Oh, do what you want!”). Even if you had immediate peace of mind at that moment - in the long run you will have to pay for it.