Have you ever been gay for a fee?

“I'm a lazy bitch.” - Interview with a gay escort

From Anna-Maria Jarad

In short: Jakob is prostituting himself. He gets paid for sex with men. But he's not one of those station hustlers who sell themselves to get fabric. Jacob is very healthy and does not need the material, but the money. He prefers to call himself a gay escort. After all, he is not on the street, but is booked by his customers. You can find him on the Internet and he chooses who to meet. I meet him in a café on Motzstrasse in Berlin. To talk.


ZEITjUNG.de: Jakob, why do we meet here, in the gayest of all Berlin streets? That smells strongly of cliché.

Jakob: You could say that I live my role.

How old are you?


And in real?


Why are you making yourself younger

Because the clientele I deal with are very vain. The younger their conquest, the better they feel.

But you're not a conquest at all, you're a paid sex date.

Yes, but a sex date that has accepted and is therefore already a success.

So are the men who book you less likely to be successful in the gay sex market?

I wouldn't say that. Many of my customers are quite interesting and self-confident personalities who do not need any additional enhancement. However, in my experience, gay horniness is the little cousin of pederasty - the younger the conquest, the greater the kick and ego push.

Sounds clever. Why do you even prostitute yourself? Were you in need of money and saw no other way out?

I'm the bitch anyway. I've been fucking around so much that at some point I thought I might as well take money for it. I partied a lot and hard for a while and the clicks in the club were just a pretty short episode considering what felt like a very long weekend. Somebody wanted to fuck me all the time and so a thought solidified in me: Why not take money for it if I can?

Well, partying a lot and accidentally screwing around a lot, that's one thing. Still, it's a pretty big step to do it professionally, isn't it?

This is exactly where I see one of our last sexual taboos. It's now totally okay to step into the box with Hinz and Kunz and be promiscuous. But take money for it? Oh no! The really doesn't work! Why not? For me personally, it's very easy and has no drama at all: I like sex, but I also like a lot of money. Quite a few would like to have sex with me, and most of those many would even pay for it. So why shouldn't I take this money? It's not that I have to overcome some disgust or disgust, or that someone is forcing me to do things that I hate. I choose my customers myself and therefore there are always people who I like and with whom I can generally imagine a free free time fuck. For me, that is more an option than doing a ten-euro hourly boring job.

That sounds a little too good. Are you saying that there hasn't been a single customer who wasn't somehow disgusting and abnormal?

I don't mean to say that. Of course there was, but then you still have the option to cancel and refuse what has been agreed.

Details please!

I make an appointment over the Internet and all I see of my customers in advance is a photo. I already know that most people choose one that they find comfortable on. So if someone looks really hot in a picture, I still remain skeptical for the time being. It doesn't have to mean anything. Sometimes I have already asked myself whether the person I am meeting is the same as in the photo from before.

And then you say: "Sorry, you are really uglier than in the photo, it won't work!"

Not necessarily. Sometimes the person is just attractive in a different way than in the picture and it's okay with me anyway. But sometimes that's exactly what I have to say.


That just happens.

Why do you need so much money? Wouldn't a ten-euro hourly wage job be enough for your needs?

It's all because I'm so damn lazy. I don't feel like spending hours with bakery department heads in the supermarket who subtly but permanently vent their frustration on me in order to get a good salary. I prefer twenty minutes of aggro rattling for the same money. I have no other choice with the running costs that I have to pay off and the studies that I want to finish at some point. At least according to my calculations. I'm not saying that I or anyone else inevitably has to do this in order to survive.

Sounds reasonably conclusive. But let's leave the “why?” And ask about the “how?” You said at the beginning that you were in your role. Who and what is your escort personality?

I am quite young as an escort. At the same time, however, also very self-confident and dominant. This is particularly popular with the elderly, who, due to their socialization, still perceive their homosexuality as something reprehensible and secretly want to be humiliated for it. I do things with them that in a “normal” relationship are only fulfilled after prior confession, or let's call it disclosure and discussion of bizarre needs. You can say that I am a gay and still very male dominatrix. And I'm usually not as mean in my private life as I am to my customers.

You say you have a lot of older customers who are more submissive ...

"Rather" is good!

So you have a lot of older customers who are totally submissive - what does that have to do with being gay?

I don't want to generalize or use any clichés here. It is only my personal perspective that I can tell you about here. And what the guys want from me seems like undigested gayness. For example, staged rape is very common, in which the “victim” likes to hear the repertoire of swear words that are anti-gay and wants to be despicably effeminate. I conclude from this that they have so far not been able to make friends with their homosexuality. On the other hand, I often hear from female colleagues that older guys mostly want girlfriend sex with hours of smooching. Again, that's a pretty tough number in its own way from a service perspective.

And you say that your customers are self-confident, established personalities?

That sounds contradicting me, I know. I explained it to myself in terms of kitchen psychology, as I mentioned earlier. These are not poor and lonely losers. These men have good jobs and are well connected socially. I even spent long periods of time with some of them when they booked me on a business trip to Brussels or New York. Just normal people with somewhat wacky fetishes.

Brussels, New York, hotel rooms and bushes - that sounds glamorous. Have you ever fallen in love with a customer or the other way around?

No, that hasn’t happened to me yet. On the part of the customers there were occasional raptures here and there. I noticed that from the fact that people often wanted to arrange meetings one after the other. But on the one hand that pays for them quickly and on the other hand we're talking about sex as a commodity. So if the customer is dissatisfied - for example because we are not going to be lovers - he looks for a new object of his desire. So easy. I don't think anyone will ever confess their love to me. That's why I'm very professional in dealing with my customers.

“Ever” is a good keyword. How much longer are you going to do this job?

Until I have finished my studies and traineeship and am finally a well-paid teacher in the service of the state.

Image source: (1) Eduardo Santos under CC BY 2.0

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